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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Cigar
Smoking
Choice
Choose
Choices
Woman
Given
Always
More quotes by Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Blood's not thicker than money.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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