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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Choose
Choices
Woman
Given
Always
Cigar
Smoking
Choice

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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
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He thinks I look alike!
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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