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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Writing
Would
Asinine
Groucho
Marx
Autobiography
Read
Write
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
Groucho Marx
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
