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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Write
Writing
Would
Asinine
Groucho
Marx
Autobiography
Read

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
Groucho Marx
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
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What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
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I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
Groucho Marx