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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Autobiography
Read
Write
Writing
Would
Asinine
Groucho
Marx

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Groucho Marx
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
Groucho Marx
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx