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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Groucho
Marx
Autobiography
Read
Write
Writing
Would
Asinine

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
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I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
Groucho Marx
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Groucho Marx
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx