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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Organization
Members
Become
Would
Like
People
Join
Encourage
Clubs

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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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