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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Baby
Cursing
Goes
Babies
Name
Established
Routine
Wife
Humorous
Names
Calling
Unsuspecting
Funny
Rules
Naming
Mean
Husband
Defenseless

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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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