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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Better
Time
Heifer
Puns
Pun
Cows
None

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
Groucho Marx
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
Groucho Marx
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
Groucho Marx
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
Groucho Marx
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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
Groucho Marx
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Groucho Marx
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
Groucho Marx
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
Groucho Marx
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
Groucho Marx