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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Pun
Cows
None
Inspiration
Better
Time
Heifer
Puns

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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What have future generations ever done for us?
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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He thinks I look alike!
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
Groucho Marx
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx