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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Cows
None
Inspiration
Better
Time
Heifer
Puns
Pun
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
He thinks I look alike!
Groucho Marx
It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
