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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Hot
Inspiration
Stove
Stoves
Bending
Kitchen

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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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He thinks I look alike!
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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