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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Stove
Stoves
Bending
Kitchen
Hot
Inspiration
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
Groucho Marx
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx