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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Boat
Mets
Gave
Inspiration
Wife
Ferry
Landed
Slip
Slips

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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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