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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Slip
Slips
Boat
Mets
Gave
Inspiration
Wife
Ferry
Landed

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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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