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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Slips
Boat
Mets
Gave
Inspiration
Wife
Ferry
Landed
Slip

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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He thinks I look alike!
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Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx