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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Writing
Typewriters
Ears
Tried
Humor
Inspiration
Funny
Write
Unwieldy
Found
Typewriter
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Groucho Marx
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
Groucho Marx
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx
