Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Alabama
Africa
Inspiration
Hard
Ivory
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
Groucho Marx
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
