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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Hands
Madam
Inspiration
Fact
Wish
Making
History
Facts
Keep

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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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I hate London when it's not raining.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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