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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Making
History
Facts
Keep
Hands
Madam
Inspiration
Fact
Wish

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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