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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Inspiration
Groucho
Wife
Maid
Maids
Whispering
Discovered
Mouth
Kissing
Mouths
More quotes by Groucho Marx
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Groucho Marx
