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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Way
Uruguay
Inspiration
Going

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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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