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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Warm
Cold
Inspiration
Call
Party
Collar
Women
Collars
Beer
Hot
More quotes by Groucho Marx
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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He thinks I look alike!
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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