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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Women
Collars
Beer
Hot
Warm
Cold
Inspiration
Call
Party
Collar
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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