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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Paddle
Canoe
Later
Inspiration

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
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I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho Marx
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
Groucho Marx
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
Groucho Marx
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx