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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Going
Day
Positivity
Pursuit
Happiness
Happy
Today
More quotes by Groucho Marx
[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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He thinks I look alike!
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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