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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Day
Positivity
Pursuit
Happiness
Happy
Today
Going

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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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