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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Ham
Eggs
Stupidity

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
Groucho Marx