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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Eggs
Stupidity
Ham

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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He thinks I look alike!
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