Quote

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Ham
Eggs
Stupidity

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
Image
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx
Image
Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Groucho Marx
Image
Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
Image
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
Image
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
Image
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
Image
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx
Image
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx
Image
I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
Image
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
Image
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Image
You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
Groucho Marx
Image
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
Groucho Marx
Image
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
Image
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
Image
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
Image
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
Image
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
Image
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx