Quote

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Ham
Eggs
Stupidity

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.
Groucho Marx
Image
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
Image
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
Image
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
Image
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
Image
I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Image
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx
Image
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
Image
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
Image
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx
Image
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
Groucho Marx
Image
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
Image
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
Image
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
Image
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
Image
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
Image
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
Image
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
Groucho Marx
Image
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
Image
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx