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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Ham
Eggs
Stupidity
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
Groucho Marx
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Groucho Marx
That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx
My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
Groucho Marx