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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Thinking
Arrangement
Arrangements
Marriage
Woman
Better
Men
Think

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
Groucho Marx
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
Groucho Marx
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho Marx
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
Groucho Marx
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx