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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Become
Life
Leaves
Afraid
Inspiration
Party

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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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