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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Wells
Ashamed
Well
Dull
Think
Dirty
Thinking
Speech
Heard
Razor
Story
Razors
Stories
Reminds
Thought
Feathers

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Time wounds all heels.
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx