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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Wells
Ashamed
Well
Dull
Think
Dirty
Thinking
Speech
Heard
Razor
Story
Razors
Stories
Reminds
Thought
Feathers

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
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Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx