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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Thinking
Speech
Heard
Razor
Story
Razors
Stories
Reminds
Thought
Feathers
Wells
Ashamed
Well
Dull
Think
Dirty

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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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