Quote

If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.

Groucho Marx

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Time
Last
Shakes
Idea
Stick
Business
Fellow
Women
Sticks
Ideas
Fellows
Years
Started
Good
Year
Canoe
Men
Lasts
Shake

More quotes by Groucho Marx

Image
I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
Image
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
Image
You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx
Image
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
Groucho Marx
Image
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Groucho Marx
Image
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Image
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
Image
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
Image
Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members.
Groucho Marx
Image
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx
Image
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
Image
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
Image
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
Image
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
Groucho Marx
Image
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
Groucho Marx
Image
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
Image
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Image
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx
Image
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
Image
The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
Groucho Marx