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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Wife
Home
Better
Notice
Improvement
Outside
Difference
Differences

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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