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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Humorous
Comic
Humor
Inspiration
Funny
Strip
Shower
Showers
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
Groucho Marx
If you were a man, you'd go into business for yourself. I know a fellow who started out last year with just a canoe. Now he's got more women than you can shake a stick at, if that's your idea of a good time.
Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
Groucho Marx
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
