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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Shower
Showers
Humorous
Comic
Humor
Inspiration
Funny
Strip

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
Groucho Marx
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Groucho Marx
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
Groucho Marx
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Groucho Marx
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
Groucho Marx
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
Groucho Marx
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
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Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
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Time wounds all heels.
Groucho Marx
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
Groucho Marx
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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx