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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Shower
Showers
Humorous
Comic
Humor
Inspiration
Funny
Strip
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
Groucho Marx
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
Groucho Marx
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
Groucho Marx
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
Making love to your wife is like shooting at sitting ducks.
Groucho Marx
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
Groucho Marx
You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
Groucho Marx
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Groucho Marx
