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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Answer
Second
Question
Inspiration
Answers
Money
Firsts
First
Marry

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Time wounds all heels.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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