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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Question
Inspiration
Answers
Money
Firsts
First
Marry
Answer
Second

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
Groucho Marx
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
Groucho Marx
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Groucho Marx
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
Groucho Marx
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
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Any place I hang my head is home.
Groucho Marx
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
Groucho Marx
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Groucho Marx
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx