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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Every
Time
Room
Rooms
Turns
Read
Someone

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I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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He thinks I look alike!
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
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