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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Time
Room
Rooms
Turns
Read
Someone
Every

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Groucho Marx
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Groucho Marx
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx