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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Rooms
Turns
Read
Someone
Every
Time
Room

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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