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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Pay
Inspiration
Face
Invite
Faces
Invites
Woman
Opera
Look
Price
Looks
Dinner
Expect

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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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Humor is reason gone mad.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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What have future generations ever done for us?
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Budget: a way of going broke methodically
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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