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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Pay
Inspiration
Face
Invite
Faces
Invites
Woman
Opera
Look
Price
Looks
Dinner
Expect
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
