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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Face
Invite
Faces
Invites
Woman
Opera
Look
Price
Looks
Dinner
Expect
Pay
Inspiration
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
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Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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