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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Black
Tell
Men
Mustache
Outside
Bigs
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
Groucho Marx
A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
Groucho Marx
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
Groucho Marx
Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Groucho Marx
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
Groucho Marx
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
Groucho Marx
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Groucho Marx
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Groucho Marx
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
Groucho Marx
Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
Groucho Marx
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
Groucho Marx
