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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Settling
Lower
Mess
Clean
Smog
Taxes
Earthquake
Next
Earthquakes
Believe
Settle
Really
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More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge.
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Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.
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She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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