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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Really
Traffic
Settling
Lower
Mess
Clean
Smog
Taxes
Earthquake
Next
Earthquakes
Believe
Settle

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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
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