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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Next
Earthquakes
Believe
Settle
Really
Traffic
Settling
Lower
Mess
Clean
Smog
Taxes
Earthquake

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All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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