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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Keep
Alimony
Government
Sweeping
Price
Income
Taxes
Pay
Feet
Woman
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
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I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
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Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
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If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx