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I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Didn
Going
Thrash
Inch
Inches
Tape
Measure
Within
Lives
More quotes by Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
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Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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Only if the computers really love each other.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Blood's not thicker than money.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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