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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Ice
Inspiration
Eyes
Eye
Water
Make
Onions

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
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I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove
Groucho Marx
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I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
Groucho Marx
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
Groucho Marx
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If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Groucho Marx
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
Groucho Marx
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
Groucho Marx
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
Groucho Marx
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You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.
Groucho Marx
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
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You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.
Groucho Marx
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
Groucho Marx
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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
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Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.
Groucho Marx
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
Groucho Marx
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
Groucho Marx
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
Groucho Marx