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If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
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More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
Groucho Marx
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
Groucho Marx
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
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I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling.
Groucho Marx
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I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills
Groucho Marx
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Groucho Marx
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Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face
Groucho Marx
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Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
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The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.
Groucho Marx
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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books
Groucho Marx
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
Groucho Marx
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
Groucho Marx
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Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
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Only if the computers really love each other.
Groucho Marx
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
Groucho Marx
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Groucho Marx
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
Groucho Marx