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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Eight
Nothing
Alarm
Alarms
Opera
Clock

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
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Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
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Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don't mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies.
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A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I dont know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded.
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There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
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The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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Mrs. Teasdale congratulates him on his coronation and sovereignty: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Firefly replies: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
Groucho Marx