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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Opera
Clock
Eight
Nothing
Alarm
Alarms
More quotes by Groucho Marx
I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract-- Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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Remember, the grass is always greener where you don't happen to be the neighbor.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
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It isn't so much that hard times are coming the change observed is mostly soft times going.
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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana
Groucho Marx
