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One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Marry
Grandmother
Wants
Woman
Might
Even
Men
Grandfather
More quotes by Groucho Marx
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
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Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication
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I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.
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There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married.
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TV is the rat race of the century.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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