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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Nine
Books
Change
Give
Book
Giving

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
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If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
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Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.
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This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
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A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it
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Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can't think of a better arrangement.
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I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
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Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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You're only as young as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx