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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Book
Giving
Nine
Books
Change
Give

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.
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Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
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If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
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Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Groucho Marx
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When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Groucho Marx
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Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
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I know, I know - you're a woman who's had a lot of tough breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten those brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.
Groucho Marx
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I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Groucho Marx
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When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, I was just whispering in her mouth
Groucho Marx
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Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx
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Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx
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I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me. What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself? Sure she could. I just found that out too late.
Groucho Marx
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
Groucho Marx
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Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.
Groucho Marx
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
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Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech, and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
Groucho Marx