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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Giving
Nine
Books
Change
Give
Book

More quotes by Groucho Marx

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Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.
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Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
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Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
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Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns
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That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight.
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You're right! And such small portions!! the second added
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.
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No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
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It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Groucho Marx
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I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
Groucho Marx
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As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Groucho Marx