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I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
Age: 86 †
Born: 1890
Born: October 2
Died: 1977
Died: August 19
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Julius Henry Marx
Julius Marx
Nine
Books
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More quotes by Groucho Marx

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I hate London when it's not raining.
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name.
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Chico: Here's the book, it's a dollar Groucho: Here's a ten, and shoot the change. Chico: I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
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A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
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Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself
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Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
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I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip
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I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right.
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It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa
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You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.
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Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water.
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Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.
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Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this wont come as much of a surprise.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
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I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
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John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Groucho Marx